Brand New will always be great eh?
And B, Life won't, but it's good right now!
That's a joke that was only meant to be spoken I guess.
Will I regret leading a life that may well go nowhere? Studying subjects which focus on aesthetics, facades and generally just have superficial values? If I'd wanted I could've been a second rate doctor, or studied economics or law. Will I want to at some point, but by then have nowhere to go? I know for sure I haven't made all the right decisions for myself, as far as career goes. But does that really matter? Most people would just say 'Whatever makes you happy', but that raises the question of 'What makes people happy?'. Perhaps being in familiar comfortable situations, or active ever-changing engaging situations, or both? I guess you can choose whatever you like when you have enough money. From jobs. I really don't love the system of money that we have, it's caused more problems now than it ever has and people don't realise there are alternatives, I can envisage it, and it makes sense, we just have to completely rethink how the economy works. I know I need to learn more about it to fully understand it, I'm all on that though, so no worries. I want to finish reading "The Undercover Economist" once I'm done with this blog, but despite not being tired I'm going to have to force myself to sleep because I've gotta be up so early to...day. Anyway, the world isn't going to make change like that. My ideas, me, I'm not going to make a mark on the world. I'm not saddened or nervous about this, I totally accept that in the universe I am nothing. I am something indescribably quieter than pppppppppppppppp -ianissimo that will exist for less then a emixemicemivemibeminemihemidemisemiquaver in the neverending musical score of existance. Even less actually. It's hard to quantify anything on an infinite scale. I don't think it can even be done.
This blog is even less, nothing, does it even exist? I know it doesn't matter, so why am I writing it? About 10 people will read it, maybe less. It is not instructional and does not prompt action, it will go in one ear and out the other (again, doesn't really work on paper (which doesn't really work unless you printed this out to read it. if you did, you're ridiculous, i like you.)) and when written about big topics and possibly be considered 'philosophical' it's even more pointless. I enjoy it though. Sadly it's not a viable career option, philosopher, no matter how important it is to me to say vague things while walking round in a bathrobe. Even Plato admitted in the Republic how philosophers weren't valued in society. He is very much valued, though. If I remember right he was well off too. Maybe he was a pimp on the side or something, pay the bills, y'know.
The fact I'm nothing - aside. I am equal to all your nothings. And we affect each other and make each other. Then years later I'm hoping billions of trillions of nothings end up making or being 1 something, measurable on a universal scale. But right now, in nothingsville I am one of many people who surround themselves in emotions, feelings and thoughts created by chemicals and electrical impulses in one complex as hell brain. I know these emotions and feelings and thoughts don't matter, but how can they not when they constantly affect everything that one does? Is the world obsessed with things that don't matter? I think yes to an extent...
Anyway, what matters to me in my life still matters, even if I do question everything that I do. I have the ability to love, which can infinitely consume me if it likes, cool, I don't mind.
It's pointless replying or talking about it, but hey, our lives are pointless anyway, so what's to lose? Let's get our complex as hell brains working. Feel free to comment and talk. Only combining with other nothings can something be made. (although 0+0=1 is kind of a strange concept, but you get me innit)
On a less infinite scale, I'm bringing it right down to proper miniscule level here, I got into the semi finals of yobi pics and yobi film, two online contests - one for photography and one for filmmaking. The pile of prize money is big and [Leon's] getting larger!!! I hope someone gets that. Also I'm playing a gig with a band whose listening demographic are 12-15 year old girls. Probably gonna get dreads the week after, I don't overly care what most people think. Everyone's nothing eh. I do like to make people happy, and sadly I think people who like to make people unhappy suck, so if I get stick for it or people assume I have cannabis so I can sell it to them, I'll tell them politely where to shove it and start ranting about the fact it doesn't matter. If I can't get a job because of it, I'll cut my hair and condition 'em out. No biggie. Though places shouldn't think it's important anyway, in the same way I don't. It's hair. It's not even alive.
I realise part of growing up, being mature, is having a certain level of not giving a shit about stuff.
I strongly believe this.
However, there are things that will always deserve to be given a shit. (That is to say there are things that matter)
Like positivity, constructiveness, helpfulness, thoughts, action, interaction, intra-action, and of course love in all it's forms.
Why did I write this when I have so much other stuff to do?
I have not proofread this.
Night.
Morning!
5 comments:
That was a very insightful blog, and I’m glad you wrote it Narayan. Although I agree with everything you’ve said, I do think that people should be valued within the scale of what they are capable of, if that makes sense? Like, someone can’t think ‘man it sure sucks that I can’t have x-ray vision or whatever’ when they don’t have the capability to be anyway. Anyway, I think that generally, individuals have a huge affect on society and the shape of the world, so even if you’re not visually influencing the entire universe, you are changing it, and no matter how small the change, it is a change like any other, so I wouldn’t worry too much about doing things on such a large scale haha. Just focus on whatever happens, I guess. I don’t know what your mind is like, what you believe, what your morals or philosophies are, because we’ve never really connected on that level, but personally, in general, I’m pretty open minded to anything, and can be quite a spiritual person, so I don’t know if any of this is interesting to you, but its just the crust on my mind-bread; delve deeper if you wish, but I must warn you - it gets delicious.
I think as a whole you have achieved so much at such a young age. I mean maybe you’ve just achieved the average amount, but I know I’m nowhere near on the scale to you, not matter how infinitesimally small it is. ‘Inferiority complex’ me all you like, its still true! If you apply any of your talents, it will result in something which is way more important to the future than if you practiced medicine, which is the creation of pure CULTURE! I don’t think life should ever be defined by one thing, I think that instead of aiming for one goal of ‘I want to do one job which makes me rich/makes people happy’ people should just do what they want. They should discover their talents, and use them. Even if its only 10 people who see those talents, they still have some kind of outcome on the universe.
If there's ever anything on your mind and you fancy chatting then I'll meet you at the Internet.
Don’t be director for this broadcast thing, man. Dave will take over.
And yes I got the Leon joke, and I lol’d.
hey, good stuff. valued by capability? so you mean the weak or ill or disabled should be valued less because they're capable of less?
thanks for all the posi comments, made a smile happen. i think people generally do do what they want. but people are greedy and always want more than one thing, then theres problems. you can't really be an artist and be rich! haha. but seriously. nearly everyone wants money or happiness or recognition and other things on top of that and rarely get it all.
Nah it's cool. I'd quite like to be director, would be useful to say to uni's that the class decided i'd be best suited to it? Dunno. It's alright!
Yeeeeah nice one.
Well no, disabled people shouldn't be valued less, but I think the point I might have tried to make in amongst that balls is that people will have the same effect, whatever they do, so its just how you decide, or are able, to make that influence thats up to you.
(So what I'm saying is "do whatever because it doesn't even matter"? fml thats rubbish.)
your ability to make sense out of what is in everybody elses head as well as yours still amazes me. you speak sense, and, even if it is nothing, it is perfect sense to me, and no doubt countless others. i feel your thoughts on your career path being one that is a fascade etc can be said of anything though - music is not always real, in terms of feeling expressed are not always the feeling you mean to express, so be it advertant or inadvertant you are "cheating" the listener. i don't know what i'm saying, but i do know that the one thing i believe in, like you, is love. because if i've experienced it or i haven't or have or i ever will, it is still there, hanging over all of our heads - we know we are happy because we are alive, and we know we will be happy because we feel that love is there to be found and to be conquered (or has already been found!)
this makes no sense, but i don't normally..your blogs are clever, mine are moany.
i love you, as one of my dearest, dearest friends.
see you saturday night, i'll dress like a 15 year old girl, might score one of the band. yay!
joseph
also, i agree a lot with what jamie said. his whole point on discovering talents and utilising them. and yes, it may be an idealistic and romantic view that you can a)be lucky enough to discover what you are great and b)be able to utilise that to forward your life and bring in an income, but i do believe it's possible, and i personally know i would, if i had a talent, push it as far as i could so that i could do what i enjoy/was good at. that in itself would make me happy. probably makes me selfish, but i probably am. but the talent described above is invisible and pseudo, so it's all kinda ok.
again, i make no sense.
night x
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